Apple Privacy Policy

Today I am going to write a parody of the Apple Privacy Policy. Keep in mind that I’m not going to write it as long as Apple’s is because that would take way too long.

Privacy “Rights” at Apple

Here at Apple we like to make false promises and give illusions that what you do on your devices are private. Just so you are aware, everything IS private, as long as Apple can see everything you do and every move you make.

To prove our allowance of privacy, we put little colored circles on the top of your screen to let you know when your microphone and camera are on. We promise that we don’t check in on you any other time!

Personal Data We Ask You For

Any data that we collect from your phone, we make sure to ask in the beginning. Just know that when you check the little box at the end of this written work means that you sign away all your privacy, but it’s okay because no one reads this anyways!

Who we share with

We share with many people throughout the world. Some of those being companies who pay us even more money in order to get user’s information. But don’t worry, we make sure we sell you out for a good price. Any time we share with other providers, we do so on your behalf. No personal gain-we are only serving you. No matter if you asked for it or not! The rest of the time we share information, we make sure to ask you. Again it’s at the end of this form. Sign your privacy away or don’t have apple. That’s our motto!

Please sign here to indicate that you have read (but hopefully not) the terms:

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